You can not live without the person you love
by ktho98
Summary: During the mission on New Apsolon, Tahl and Obi-Wan were hurt and fought for their lives. Is Qui-Gon strong enough to handle this Situation alone or will there be a friend, who helps him through all this? How will Qui-Gon be able to deal with the consequences of that mission?
1. Chapter 1

Everything would be easier, if the events would be in his favor! But most of the time, the events turned against him and he needed to learn another lesson in patience and trust.

Qui-Gon sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the wall. He could not believe that this really happened! It was worse enough that their mission were not permitted by the Jedi-Council and events did not unfold as he wanted.

Qui-Gon went to New Apsolon to save the love of his life: Tahl.

On New Apsolon he rescued her for the second time of their lives. The first time was on Melida/Daan, where she was hurt and needed medical care. Now she was poisoned by an Absolute and tortured. Her vital functions were extremely low and Qui-Gon was scared that she would die. The experience on Melida/Daan was nothing against this moment. And now he could do nothing to help her.

They were back on Coruscant and he brought her to the Med center. Now, many medi-droids took care of her health, but nothing seemed to work. She was unconscious, but more like a specific form of coma. Her breathing was normal, but she didn't woke up.

But Tahl's poisoning was not the worst problem. Something happened on New Apsolon that Qui-Gon deeply regretted. While he was searching for Tahl he left his Padawan Obi-Wan in a little settlement with only one female doctor. His leg was hit by a huge rock and he couldn't move it without any pain. But Qui-Gon needed to hurry, so he left his Padawan behind with the believe that he was safe.

When he came back, with a weak Tahl in his arms, he entered the settlement and found his student in a bad condition. The wound on Obi-Wan's leg was inflamed and his body temperature was very high. He felt like burning fire. When he realized the situation, he contacted the Jedi-Council and ordered a space ship with a huge medical station. He carried Obi-Wan and Tahl into the ship and did the first aid.

During the whole trip, Tahl was still unconscious and now the same in the med center. Obi-Wan was conscious during the trip and Qui-Gon tried to get his fever down with wet clothes, but he could see how his student felt into blackness with every second of a day. When they arrived on Coruscant, he felt unconscious too.

" His body is too weak" said the healer. " I hope that he'll wake up soon. Otherwise the fever will force him to die."

Qui-Gons heart stopped beating after this information, but he needed to be strong for both of them.

He ordered that both lingered in one room. The situation was hard enough and he didn't wanted to decide in which room he wanted to stay.

Now he had to wait and hope.

He sat a whole day in this room. The healers gave him some instruction to take care on his own, when the healers weren't there.

He still could do nothing for Tahl. They gave her a breathing mask and an infusion, but told him that he needed to wait.

Obi-Wan's temperature raised really fast. Qui-Gon removed his tunic and get a wet cloth and a bowl of water. With that he caressed his students face carefully in a try to lower his temperature. It seemed to work really good. Obi-Wan's skin color turned back to normal, but he was still sweating and dreaming. He had different dream stages: One stage, he slept peacefully and seemed like dead and the other stage, he slept restless, while shaking his head from one side to the other and murmuring some unclear words and sentences. Only Qui-Gon's presence seemed to reassure him.

" He can hear you and he can feel you" told him one of the healers. " He is only not able to respond!"

During the second dream stage or the so called fever dream, he stayed with his student, hold his hand or caressed his cheeks and forehead. Always when Qui-Gon started these motions he stopped moving and seemed to listen to him. Sometimes Qui-Gon told him a story from the past or made some jokes.

That was all he could do for Obi-Wan. His students task was to wake up.

He turned his gaze into Tahls direction.

His love for both were so deep and the imagination of one of them dead burned his heart down. He couldn't stand that pain. He couldn't lose one of them or even both. He felt a single tear on his cheek and wiped it away, but he couldn't stop crying. The situation overwhelmed him.

The door opened and Mace Windu entered the room.

" Everything alright, Qui-Gon?" asked the Council-Member.

" They're still unconscious and supposed to die" responded Qui-Gon. " But everything is alright!"

" I'm sorry, Qui-Gon. I know how difficult it is."

" They said that it depends on the night, if Obi-Wan will wake up or die!"

Mace hesitated. " Obi-Wan is a strong boy! He will be alive!"

" I hope that you're right, Mace!"

" Do you want me to stay with you until the morning?" asked Mace and placed a comforting hand on Qui-Gons shoulder.

Qui-Gon lifted his head and nodded. Mace understood him without any word, get a chair and sat down next to him.

At this moment came the healer into the room.

" What can we do?"asked Mace Windu strained.

The healer felt Tahls body temperature and controlled the medical devices. " Her vital functions are not stable. We need to get an inside into her body to check on her internal organs. When they're hurt we need to act quickly to save her. I'm unsure about her condition." He pressed a red button on the wall. " We need some healers in room 21 to get Master Tahl into the labor." He turned around to Qui-Gon again. " We'll take her with us. You can stay here with the boy, we will give you all information if we'll find out something important!"

" Thank you" replied Qui-Gon. " And how is my student?"

" Hard to say" said the healer and felt Obi-Wans forehead. " The fever is still there, but not dangerous for his life. I would say it is his weak body in cooperation with his hallucinating mind. He can not really fight against the infection without a clear mind. Maybe you can guide him through the force, but if this doesn't work, we need to expect the worst. As I said last time, it depends on tonight. I'll come back every two hours and over the night in shorter intervals. If you notice something different, please call me immediately."

Qui-Gon nodded and the healer left the room.

" I'll stay with you" reassured Mace. " You'll be not alone this night. This will be tough. Maybe we can alternate with our watch. We both need sleep. I'll take the first watch."

Qui-Gon looked at him hesitantly. Mace knew his thoughts very well. He wanted to stay awake if Obi-Wan would wake up, but he also knew that Qui-Gon needed sleep to regain his strenght to help Obi-Wan and Tahl, when they need him. In this situation he would not help them with staying awake, but he could not say that to Qui-Gon. In this moment, he wouldn't understand.

" I'll wake you up, when something happens, ok?" asked Mace instead.

Qui-Gon looked at Obi-Wan and nodded slowly. He slipped his chair closer to his bed, grabbed one of Obi-Wans hands and rested his head against the chair and closed his eyes.

Mace grabbed his chair and took it closer to Obi-Wan too, but without disturbing Qui-Gon. To interpret the breathing sound of Qui-Gon, he must already be asleep.

Mace, fully awake, grabbed Obi-Wans other hand and watched the young face. " Obi-Wan?If you can hear me, than please, try to fight for us. You must stay alive! Qui-Gon needs you, Tahl needs you and we need you. I know you're a strong boy and that you can do it. Fight against the fog in your mind…." He hesitated some seconds. "...Maybe I can help you to handle the hallucinations. I need access to your mind to call you through the force. So please, if you can hear me...Drop your mental shields!"

Mace closed his eyes and reached through the force, but hit some strong mental shields in Obi-Wans mind. He decided to stay there and call Obi-Wan through the force with comforting waves.

After some minutes he thought that it wouldn't work, but then he felt the shields tremble and he continued his action. Obi-Wans mind seemed to reply to his force waves. Suddenly, he broke through the shields and had fully access of Obi-Wans mind. Usually, he would hear his thoughts, but all he could sense were some unclear words and foggy images. Images from the accident, but they were wrong. This must be the hallucinations. Bizarre creatures walked through his thoughts without any sense and confused the young student. But Mace couldn't find Obi-Wan himself.

 _Obi-Wan!_

He called him through the force, but carefully to not awake Qui-Gon with it. But Obi-Wan didn't replied. He tried it multiple times without a respond. He decided to leave, when he felt a soft shiver through the force. Like a weak call for help. Not many Jedi-Master would have sensed it, but Mace did and he followed the feeling through the fog. The shiver changed stronger and then Mace could hear some grammatically right thoughts of Obi-Wan.

 _Obi-Wan? Can you hear me?_

The force answered with a weak wave of pain. Mace send a wave of comfort through the force to reassure him. _I'll guide you through the fo_ _g_ _, Obi-Wan. You need to follow me, but you need to do this on your own. I can't help you with that. Take your time, but don't stop. Fight, Obi-Wan!_

With that he left Obi-Wans mind and left behind a trail through his mind. Obi-Wan needed to follow it. This was all Mace could do for him. Now it was up to Obi-Wan.


	2. Chapter 2

Mace sighed silently and took the wet cloth to wipe the boys forehead. He talked to the boy during it, avoiding to awake his Master.

Two hours passed without any changes. Obi-Wan slept peacefully and Qui-Gon didn't move at all. Mace checked the time and decided that he needed to wake up Qui-Gon, because he already felt really tired and he didn't wanted to fell asleep without Qui-Gon fully awake. Without motivation, he stood up and walked over to Qui-Gon, but he hesitated. He didn't wanted to wake him up. Qui-Gon was not indifferent to him and he enjoyed it that his friend slept that well for some hours but he also knew that he would fall asleep during the following minutes and it was really important to wake Qui-Gon before this will happen.

He grabbed Qui-Gon's shoulder and shook it lightly. The Jedi-Master groaned and opened his eyes slowly. His gaze was clouded and he seemed to search for something or someone. Mace gave him the time to be aware of the current time and place. He rubbed his eyes and looked up at Mace. " Did something happen?", he asked with a tired undertone.

" Nothing" replied Mace. " He's still asleep, but we still have time until the morning and maybe they are soon finish with Tahl, but I need to sleep now, my friend!"

Qui-Gon nodded and sat upright. When Mace took his seat again and closed his eyes, Qui-Gon stood up and opened the window to get fresh air. Afterwards he grabbed Obi-Wan's blanket and slided it up under his chin to keep him warm.

Suddenly, the door opened silently and a healer entered the room. Qui-Gon put a finger on his mouth to show him to be silent. Mace was already asleep.

The healer got closer to him and whispered: " Tahl will be here in some minutes. We removed her internal organs and replaced them with healthy organs, but she is still very weak, but now she is safe. She can't die anymore!"

Qui-Gon breathed out and rubbed his face. This was a delightful news and he was happy that Tahl would be fine.

" I'll check her tomorrow as well as your padawan" added the healer and checked his students vital functions for a last time. " Everything's fine! We should wait till tomorrow. If something happen, please call me or my colleague!"

Qui-Gon nodded again and the healer left the room. He let the door open and another healer came ito the room with Tahls bed and replaced it on the other side of the room. Qui-Gon walked over to her and grabbed her hand. She still seemed to be asleep, but now it weren't her organs, but her own will to live and he needed to wait. As well as he needed to wait for his student to wake up. He couldn't do anything to help both, so he decided to doze a little bit.

The next time he woke up, it was light in the room. He realized that his body layed uncomfortably over the chair and his head was supported by his arm. His back and arms were hurting and he needed to stretch his muscles to avoid further pain.

Mace, in the chair on the opposite side of the room, was still asleep and snored softly. Tahls eyes were still closed, but her face was now peaceful without any expression of pain. Obi-Wan looked the same, he didn't changed.

Qui-Gon sighed desperately about the course of this task. At the end of the mission, he was convinced that neither Tahl nor Obi-Wan would die and he knew that both were strong enough to fight for their life. But now, he realized that they were still human and that they could not fight every fight against every enemy. Especially against their own body or mind. Qui-Gon had to accept that he needed to live with the consequences of this. Even if Obi-Wan or Tahl died or not, he needed to survive. The Council never would him kill himself, nevertheless he needed to control his mind on his own. The Council could not help him with that decision.

The Jedi-Master sat there for some minutes without moving, until a healer arrived. It was a casual activity of the healers to control their patients every morning and Qui-Gon didn't realize them every time. Mace was startled on his chair and rubbed his face.

" Some positive news?" asked Mace curious.

The healer walked over to Tahl and controlled the function of the medical devices. " Her vital values are stable. It looks like she is asleep, but I believe she is just healing herself. Maybe it'll last some more days for her to wake up. Tomorrow we will do some tests with her about her body functions and her brain functions. Her internal organs are still working good after we removed her old, destroyed organs and replaced some new. Her body accepted it and seems to work great. Give her some time to heal and we will see what we can do."

Qui-Gon nodded satisfied of her health status. Medically, Tahl would be ok.

" And what is with the boy?" he asked silently.

He didn't liked the look on the healers face, when he turned around to Qui-Gon. He looked at the Jedi-Master and then at his student. " Did he move?"

" No, he didn't" replied Qui-Gon sadly. He knew what kind of response would follow.

" So, we can't do anything for him" said the healer. " We can wait one more hour, but then we need to stop the machinery. We still have other patients, who need our help more urgently."

Qui-Gon wanted to contradict but he decided that it would make no sense. The healer was right. Obi-Wan was lost to his own mind and they saw no opportunity to save him. He was aware that they saw no chance for his student and they only gave him an hour time to say farewell to him.

" Do you need some time alone?" asked Mace Windu. He knew the same what Qui-Gon knew and he gave him some time.

Mace Windu realized that Obi-Wan may lost the fight against his mind, although he tried to help him. When Qui-Gon nodded, Mace walked over to Obi-Wan and rested his hand on his forehead. For Qui-Gon it seemed that he said goodbye but he also sent a message into Obi-Wans mind to instruct him that it was now time to wake up. Maybe the last time to do it.

He released Obi-Wan and closed the door behind him.

Qui-Gon didn't waste much time, grabbed Obi-Wans hand and sat down on his bed.

" I'm so sorry, Obi-Wan" he murmured, " I failed you! I couldn't rescue you! I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."

He bowed his head on his students chest to hide his tears but he could not stop the sounds that came out of his mouth. His sobbing was the only sound into this room but he didn't care. Now he needed to cry for his lost student.

" You can't tell me that you are crying?" whispered a soft voice, which sounded broken. Qui-Gon stopped sobbing and lifted his head to see his students eyes focusing him.

" Obi-Wan?", he asked hesitantly. " You're alive?"

" It seems like" was the weak response and Qui-Gon wrapped his strong arms about the small body.

" I thought you were death!", Qui-Gon whispered with tears in his eyes.

" Somebody helped me through the cloud of thoughts" murmured his student against his shoulder.

Beyond his happiness about his living student, Qui-Gon felt that Obi-Wan was still too weak and that he needed more rest.

" I'm so sorry for bothering you" whispered Obi-Wan, when Qui-Gon guided the body back under the blanket.

" You didn't bother me, Obi-Wan" answered Qui-Gon softly and stroked his Padawans forehead. He sent him soft waves of sleep suggestion and observed that Obi-Wan lost the fight against his heavy eyes. He continued murmuring to Qui-Gon, who tried to reassure him until Obi-Wan was asleep again. Qui-Gon wiped his tears away. The worst was over! Obi-Wan woke up and was still alive. Now he needed to rest a lot to recover.

He layed the blanket over his student and stood up. Mace Windu was sitting before the room and waited for Qui-Gon to call him. When his friend opened the door, he startled for the second time on that morning.

" Qui-Gon, what happened?" He looked shocked.

" Obi-Wan woke up" was Qui-Gons short response, when he turned around and entered the room again. Mace follow him with his eyes, confused of Qui-Gons changed mood.

" Are you alright, my friend?" he asked again and follow him.

" Mace, call the healers, please!"

Mace didn't asked why, he only followed his instructions and pressed a red button onto the wall. It didn't last long, when two familiar healers entered the room and gave them a questioning look.

" He woke up", Qui-Gon started, when one of the healers walked over to his students without listen to him and checked the machinery.

" He's right!"

" What?" asked Mace and the other healer at the same time.

" His vital functions changed and his breathing is more lightly." He faced the others in the room. " He is safe now!"

Qui-Gon took a deep breath and sat down on a chair.

" What shall we do now?" asked Mace instead of him because he realized that Qui-Gon wasn't able to say something.

" Now we need time, but I'm quite sure that Master Qui-Gon can take his students to his quarters this evening" replied the healer and removed the machinery from Obi-Wan.

" Tahl may need some more days into the infirmary, but Obi-Wan finished most of the healing process" he continued. " I'll give you some medicine for his leg to heal completely and you need to control his sleep. He need very much sleep to recover and if everything goes wrong, you need to call me immediately."

Qui-Gon was too overwhelmed to give a full answer, instead he nodded. The healer recognized that Qui-Gon was not able to reply, so he gave him some time to collect his thoughts.

" I'll check on him later for a last time, then you can bring him into his bedroom!"


	3. Chapter 3

Qui-Gon stayed with his student for the rest of the day. Obi-Wan woke up very often, but he was still too confused to communicate with Qui-Gon. After same hours, Mace sent Qui-Gon to get some food, because the Jedi-Master looked very thin and weak. Mace Windu himself was really tired, but he kept staying awake and watched over the young Padawan. The fever was gone and he slept without disturbing dreams. A healer joined them every third hour to check on their patients.

The last hour, when Qui-Gon was out, the healer checked on Obi-Wans leg and changed the bandage. The wound looked very good and there was no more infection, so Obi-Wan needed no infusion anymore.

Mace received a sheet of paper with advices, although Qui-Gon wasn't there. He also gained the medicine, which should avoid a fever or a second infection. Obi-Wan should stay in bed, most of the time, and avoid walking without his leg completely healed. Sleep would be the best medicine, called the doctor.

Tahl was still asleep after those days, but the healer assured him that she would be fine. They only needed some test with the her new organs and she would need some training, when she'll wake up and after that she would be able to spread the full potential of her body.

When Qui-Gon came back, Mace gave him the instruction and excused himself but he needed to leave now because of a council meeting.

It was late at the evening, when the healer permitted him to take his student out of the med-center. Without waking Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon grabbed his clothes and carried them into their quarters. Then he walked into the med-center again to wake his student. In the door he stopped. His gaze wandered to Tahl and he grabbed her hand. He was so happy that Obi-Wan was healthy, but he felt guilty because he wanted to leave her alone in the infirmary. On the other hand, she was unconscious and if she would wake up, they would inform him immediately. Nevertheless, he seemed to betray her.

" You can go and take care for your student" called the healer behind him. " We'll take care of her and call for you if something happens."

" I know, but it feels wrong to go" murmured Qui-Gon and stroked her hand softly.

" Sometimes we need to do what is expected from us instead of what we think that is right" continued the healer. " You have two opportunities: Staying here and sitting with an unconscious woman or leaving and taking care of your fully awake student. For me, it's not a hard decision. And got the information that there is another problem, you left out for the last days..."

Qui-Gon frowned. " What do you mean?"

" I mean the little Mon Calamari girl, who is your students best friend and Tahls Padawan!"

" I forgot Bant" called Qui-Gon loud enough to effect the awakening of his student. Obi-Wan moved under the sheets and groaned silently. Immediately, Qui-Gon jumped on his feet.

Obi-Wan blinked and focused his Master, who stood in front of him. " What happened?", he whispered tiredly.

Qui-Gon caressed through the short hair and smiled reassuringly. " You need to wake up for some minutes. I'll bring you into our quarters."

" I can leave the med-center?" asked Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon nodded. " Take your time and try to stand up. I'll help you!"

The healer analyzed the situation and left the room. Obi-Wan sat up slowly and grabbed Qui-Gons hand, who helped him to stand up. The boy tilted lightly and he needed to support his student. He wrapped one arm around his waist and led him out of the room.

" Master, I have a question" murmured Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon knew what he wanted to ask.

" Later, Obi-Wan", he replied. " Not here!"

Obi-Wan understood and followed his Master out of the med-center, through the Jedi-Temple, into their quarters. Qui-Gon led his student into his bedroom and helped him into his bed. Obi-Wan asked him for another sleep tunic because he already felt uncomfortable with the old one, which he wore for some days and during the feverish nights. Qui-Gon opened his wardrobe and gave him a new tunic, afterwards left the room to gave him some minutes to change his clothes and made him some tea as well. When he brought the tea to Obi-Wan, his student rested in his bed and seemed very tired.

" Here, I made you some tea for a better sleep" said Qui-Gon and put the cup on the table.

" Can I ask you my question, Master?" asked the boy.

" Of course, Obi-Wan."

" What happened with Tahl? I saw her in my room in the med-center...and what is with Bant?"

Qui-Gon sighed. " Tahl is fine. They removed her damaged organs and replace some new one. She only need some time to recover and some training advices. I must confess, that I forgot Bant. She was out of my mind for the last days but I'm sure that another Jedi-Master took care of her. The Jedi-Council would not let her alone while her Master is in the infirmary. Master Windu stayed with me the whole time to check on you and Tahl..."

" I know" interrupted Obi-Wan thoughtfully. " I sensed his force signature in my mind. I heard him calling for me and he guided me through the fog. I can say that, if he wouldn't have do this, I wouldn't be here."

Qui-Gon smiled without any emotion but deep in his mind he decided that he needed to talk to Mace when Obi-Wan was asleep.

" Go to sleep, Padawan", he said and caressed Obi-Wans cheek. When he stood up, Obi-Wans voice made him hesitate.

" And don't bother yourself with Bant" said Obi-Wan. " She can handle her life for herself."

Qui-Gon didn't turn around but smiled on this statement, then he left the room. He took his comlink and called for Mace Windu and asked him for a meeting. Mace responded immediately and committed to Qui-Gons suggestion. Now Qui-Gon had some minutes for himself and he decided to visit someone,who needed him now.

Bants room was only some doors away, so he passed it and knocked. A surprised Bant opened the door and couldn't say a word.

" Master Qui-Gon" she called loudly.

" May I come in, Bant?" asked Qui-Gon and waited for her commitment.

Bant stepped away and let him in. " Did you hear something from my Master?"

Qui-Gon sat down on her bed and looked at her confused. " Nobody informed you?"

Bant looked confused too. " About what? The last thing I heard was that she was on New Apsolon on an undercover mission."

Qui-Gon took a deep breath. He hadn't planned to be the one to explain the situation. Firstly, he needed to collect his thoughts.

" Bant, please sit down and listen to me" he started. " This will be very hard for you but you need to know that everything is alright now."

Bant nodded and sat down next to him.

" It is right that Tahl was on a mission on New Apsolon but this mission went totally wrong and Tahl was kidnapped and tortured..."

While he was talking, Bants breathing fastened and he could hear her heartbeat. Her facial expressions were emotionless but he sensed her feelings through her eyes.

" Obi-Wan and I went to New Apsolon to find her but Obi-Wan got hurt during the mission and I needed to leave him behind to safe your Master. When I found her, she was very weak and she needed medical care but when I went back to the settlement where I left Obi-Wan, I was confronted with the consequences of my leaving. Obi-Wans wound got infected and Obi-Wan was seriously ill. I called the Council and they sent me a ship to bring them back to Coruscant. During the trip, Tahl was unconscious the whole time but Obi-Wan was with me until we reached the planet. Then he felt unconscious too. I brought them into the med-center and we stayed there for maybe three or four days, I don't know the real dates, sorry. Master Windu stayed with me the whole time so I was convinced that he informed you and sent you another Jedi-Master to take care of you.

The healers checked for your Master and realized that her organs were destroyed so they needed to remove them and replace some new. Now she is still in the med-center but she is on the right way.

Obi-Wan instead felt into a feverish state and was expected to die but he made it through the illness and is now back in our quarters."

When he stopped, he gave Bant some time to think about everything what happened.

" But I assure you that I would have inform you if I had known that nobody talked to you" he added.

Bant nodded. " Thank you, for telling me", she said numb. " So my Master is still in the med-center? Can I visit her?"

" Of course, you can" replied Qui-Gon. " But she is still unconscious. I'll come with you but I need to talk with Master Windu first. May you can wait for me?"

" Can I go to Obi-Wan while your gone?"

Qui-Gon nodded and they left the room together. While Bant entered their quarters, Qui-Gon went to the room of a thousand fountains and waited for Mace to arrive.

He embraced the Jedi-Master deeply when he joined him. Mace was too confused to say something. Never before, Qui-Gon and he hugged each other. He was a Council-Member and a serious Jedi-Master. He wasn't allowed to act informal.

" Thank you, Mace" whispered Qui-Gon and released him.

" For what?" asked Mace confused.

" Obi-Wan told me from your little trip into his mind. If I wouldn't known you better, I would believe that it was some of his feverish dreams but the fact, that we talked about it before you did, convinced me from the opposite."

" You were asleep and so I decided to do it for you!"

" Thank you" said Qui-Gon again. " This means a lot for me!"

" Everything is ok" responded Mace. " How is Obi-Wan?"

" He is sleeping right now and Bant is with him."

" You met Bant?"

" Yes and I was very confused that you hide those information and didn't told her what happened..."

" It was the best decision" told Mace. " I talked with Yoda and he agreed with my idea. You were stressed with the fact that Tahl and Obi-Wan were expected to die and you wouldn't have needed another little girl with the same problem. But instead of you, she never could have hide it from us and this would have stressed you more and more. You bothered yourself enough."

" Well, she was not very happy about it when I told her but she want to visit Tahl after our conversation" said Qui-Gon.

" Alright, do with when it helps her to deal with this and I'm sure that everything will be fine in some days. Now I need to leave again but Master Yoda asked for a meeting with some Council-Members."

Qui-Gon nodded and left the room too to join Bant and Obi-Wan. The Mon Calamari sat on Obi-Wans bed and read on a datapad. When Qui-Gon entered the room, she lifted her head and put his finger on her mouth. Obi-Wan was still asleep deeply and breathed strong and calmly.

" Everything alright?" whispered Bant and took the datapad aside.

" Yes, everything is fine" said Qui-Gon nervously. " Do you want to visit Tahl?"

Bant nodded delight but hesitated with a look on Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the room. " Obi-Wan will be ok" he assured her. " We leave him only for some minutes." This statement seemed to calm her down and she followed the Jedi-Master to the med-center.


	4. Chapter 4

The healers were startled when they saw him again on this day in the infirmary.

" Master Jinn, did something happen?" asked the friendly healer, who took care of Obi-Wan the last day. The more unfriendly healer from the first days stood behind him and observed Qui-Gon clearly.

" Everything is fine" said Qui-Gon for the thousand time at that day. " This is Bant Eerin, Tahls Padawan, and she wanted to see her Master."

" Of course" replied the healer and smiled at Bant. " Do you want to go alone or..."

" No" complained Bant immediately. " I want Master Qui-Gon to come with me!"

The healer nodded and escorted them to the room, where Tahl was still resting. In front of the door he hesitated. " I need to inform you about something..." he began but was interrupted by Qui-Gon. " Did something happen?"

" No, please give me a chance to talk" asked the healer strained. " I was hiding this information from you because it happened some minutes after you left the med-center and you needed to take care of your student, so we decided to inform you tomorrow. It is nothing worse and you can calm down. Please, don't be angry with us because there is no reason."

" What happened?" asked Bant impatiently.

The healer sighed. " She woke up this morning and asked for you but I told her that you were with the boy and that seemed to reassure her. She was in a good mood and seemed to feel no pain and she told us that nothing would hurt her and that she felt great instead of the fatigue."

" Is she asleep now?" asked Qui-Gon and the healer shook his head.

" No, she is awake and you're allowed to see her but, please, stay calm and don't talk about things, which could make her nervous."

Bant and Qui-Gon were sharing a gaze, when the healer entered the room. Qui-Gon let Bant going first and followed right behind her.

The female Jedi-Master sat upright in her bed and drank some tea when they joined her. When she saw Qui-Gon, her eyes seemed to sparkle and she started smiling. Qui-Gon walked over to her and grabbed her hand, no matter what Bant would thinking. Bant sat down on the other side of the bed.

" How do you feel" asked Qui-Gon softly.

Bant recognized that Qui-Gons temper changed when Tahl was with him. His voice was more soft and his eyes seemed to shine like the sun. Especially that moment when he grabbed her Masters hand. Bant frowned and decided to discuss this later with Obi-Wan, when he was fully awake. Now, she needed to concentrate on her Master.

" I'm fine" replied Tahl and her voice sounded as strong as before she left the Jedi-Temple. " The healer told me what happened and I must say that I feel very good. I can't feel anything harm me or that something is wrong. They told me that I, if I would do exactly what they say, would be able to leave the med-center tomorrow but I need to do some training for my new internal organs and that I wouldn't hurry to go on another mission."

" And I agree with the healers" added Qui-Gon. " You need to rest and your following missions are canceled. I also think that this is in Bants interest too?"

Bant nodded. " I'm so happy to see you in a good condition, Master."

Qui-Gon lifted one eyebrow. Bants behavior bewildered him. He never saw such humility and obedience by his Padawan and he was surprised to discover it on Bant. Bant, normally, was a happy girl when she was with Obi-Wan but when she was with Tahl now, she seemed completely calm and patient.

This fact didn't worry him that much. New Apsolon should be the first mission for Bant and Tahl when Tahl decided to leave her behind.

" Can you do me a favor?" asked Tahl and grabbed Qui-Gons hand. " Could you take Bant with you in your quarters. I don't want her to be alone in her rooms, when I'm here in the med-center."

" Of course" replied Qui-Gon immediately. " If Bant would like to stay with us?" He looked at the young girl.

Bant seemed a bit overwhelmed. " But you only have a quarter for two persons. Where should I sleep?"

" That is not a problem, Bant. We got a sleeping couch last month and I will take it into Obi-Wans room, so you can sleep in my room, when I watch over Obi-Wan."

" And why can't I stay with him?" asked Bant.

" You're still a young child" answered Tahl. " I want you to sleep over night. You can watch over him during the day, when Qui-Gon is out."

" I don't have much to do the following days" added Qui-Gon calmly. " I only need to take care for Obi-Wan first, then I'll look after you and maybe talk with Master Windu about the healing process"

" Mace is a curious person!"

" You didn't hear that, Bant" said Qui-Gon and Bant nodded.

He realized that she was completely overwhelmed with the situation because she didn't knew how to interact with her Master now and also handle the situation with Qui-Gon and Tahl together. That was also a point, were Qui-Gon needed to talk to Tahl alone. Right at that moment, the healer entered the room.

" Time is over", he said. " Please leave her now. She needs rest!"

" Can I have some minutes to talk to her alone?" asked Qui-Gon and met Bants gaze, when the healer didn't answered. " You can decide if you want to wait or go to Obi-Wan but I need some minutes with your Master alone."

Bant nodded, bowed and left the room quickly. Qui-Gon was aware that she was happy to leave this weird situation behind her.

" Three minutes" added the healer and left the room too.

" What's the matter, Qui-Gon?" asked Tahl immediately.

" I want to talk about us" said Qui-Gon and hold her hands between his. " I can't decide alone how to handle the new situation. We shared our love and decided that we want to live together by now but we still have our students. I love Obi-Wan and I can't leave him behind or take him to another Master. It would brake his heart and also mine. The same thing with Bant. She was so happy that she got you as her Master and when you eave her now, she will not understand it. I always told Obi-Wan that Jedi are not allowed to love and now I'm breaking my own advices…."

" Shhh, Qui-Gon" murmured Tahl and squeezed his hands. " You're talking to much. I also don't know how to decide what we should do but I would suggest that we continue our life like the way before and watch the situation. We'll meet as often as we can and maybe we'll talk with our padawans about it later. I understand your feelings and I don't want you to leave Obi-Wan behind. I'm also not interested in leaving Bant and with that it is our only opportunity to continue our lifestyle."

" Maybe I can visit you every day, when you're back in your quarters?" asked Qui-Gon.

" But don't neglect Obi-Wan" warned Tahl. " He loves you very much and I don't want him to suffer under our feelings. We need to behave like the days before. Of course you can visit me but also look after Obi-Wan, please."

" It was not my intention to do this" replied Qui-Gon, when the healer came back and led him out of the room.

Qui-Gon didn't hesitated and went to his quarters. He recognized that Bant didn't wait for him before the med-center, so she needed to be in Obi-Wans room.

" Bant?" asked Qui-Gon silently and waited for her response.

On his right side, the door to Obi-Wans room opened and Bant joined him in the living room. " You asked for me?"

" How is Obi-Wan?"

" He is still asleep" replied the Mon Calamari. "Why?"

" I would like to carry the sleeping couch into his room and then I need to wake him up. He needs some food and maybe a bath after those days in the infirmary."

" I'll cook a meal and you take the sleeping couch?" asked Bant but didn't wait for his answer. Immediately, she ran into the kitchen and Qui-Gon heard some noises out of the room. He didn't wanted to contradict and so he opened the wardrobe, grabbed the sleeping couch and carried it into Obi-Wans room. Fortunately, the couch was not to heavy and he didn't made any noise by carrying it. Obi-Wan was curled up under the blanket and breathed peacefully. His heart felt heavy when he leaned over him and caressed his shoulder to wake him softly.

" Obi-Wan?", he asked calmly and waited for his student to open his eyes.

Obi-Wan needed some seconds to realize the situation. He turned on his back and rubbed his eyes tiredly. Qui-Gon stayed at his side and stroked through his short hair. " How do you feel?"

" Tired" replied Obi-Wan with a weak voice. " Good but weak and tired. My leg is hurting a little bit."

" Bant is cooking right now and during this, I want you to take a bath. Your last bath was some days before and maybe it'll help you to feel better."

Obi-Wan nodded weakly and tried to sit. Qui-Gon supported him with a hand around his shoulder and grabbed his arm to make him stand. Obi-Wan groaned when he stood on his hurted leg but he tried to overplay it in front of Qui-Gon.

" Don't try to play it down, Obi-Wan" complained Qui-Gon. " I know that you're trying to do this! Promise me to tell me the truth."

" I'll promise but you know that I always told you the truth when I was hurt or sick!"

" Not at the beginning..."

" I know but I was sick twice after this and I learned my lesson about it."

" I hope so!"

Qui-Gon entered the bathroom and sat Obi-Wan down on the toilet. Afterwards, he filled the bath tube with water and helped Obi-Wan out of his clothes.

" Can I do this alone?" asked Obi-Wan with a red skin-color. Qui-Gon knew his padawan for a long time now and he realized soon that Obi-Wan was still embarrassed when he was naked in a room with Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon accepted that but he also knew that Obi-Wan would call him if he needed him, no matter he was naked or not.

With a nod, Qui-Gon turned around and left the room. He joined Bant in the kitchen and helped her by preparing a soup.


	5. Chapter 5

" You're a great friend of Obi-Wan, Bant" said Qui-Gon after some minutes. " I'm glad that you're his best friend. There couldn't be a better one."

Bant firstly looked surprised to hear such a compliment from Qui-Gon. " I thank you so much, Master Jinn but it was only Obi-Wan's nature, which brought me here and which made me loving him. He is a perfect best friend too and I never saw a young boy so calmly and filled with compassion such as him."

" I agree with you" replied the tall Jedi-Master. " He is a extraordinary young man but I always need to remember that he is still a boy."

" And..." added Bant. " He is still human. I often believe that he forgets that fact. Obi-Wan is trying to be the perfect Jedi and he always follows the rules strictly but I think it's too much. He forgets that he is only a human with feelings like for example envy or jealousy."

" These are dangerous feelings for a Jedi because they can lead someone to the Dark Side..." started Qui-Gon but was interrupted by her immediately.

" Obi-Wan would never be evil! I know him for his whole life now and I can assure you that he would never turn to the Dark Side."

" I know him as well for some years and I also know that he is a very friendly and helpful person but some years before he was kinda restless and this concerned me."

" But you helped him to learn avoiding these feelings and this behavior" said Bant and reached for a plate. " He is always trying to do the right."

" He is still too young to do that!"

" Remember your own words, Master" murmured Bant strained. " Maybe I see something, you can't see."

Before Qui-Gon could ask her about it, Obi-Wan joined them in the kitchen. His face was pale and he looked exhaust. Qui-Gon grabbed his elbow and helped him sitting down on a chair.

" It's ok" whispered Obi-Wan weakly but leaned back against the chair and took a deep breath.

Qui-Gon could see that the pain was still there and that the fact, that he couldn't move that much, suffered him. Normally, Obi-Wan was an energetic young boy and to lay down the whole day must be a torture for him. But there were also something else in the back of his mind but he couldn't sense it. Something was bothering him but he shielded it from Qui-Gon. Nevertheless, Qui-Gon was able to feel it and he decided that he would talk to Obi-Wan later, when Bant was asleep. Now he needed to act like he usually does to avoid Obi-Wans attention on his thoughts.

" Tomorrow is the day, when Tahl will leave the med-center, Bant. Are you happy with that?" he asked innocently.

" I'm really happy about that" responded Bant. " I was worried about her and now I'm glad to see that she is fine. She always seemed so strong and to see her in so much pain was like a torture for me. I don't know, how this feelings appeared but they are still inside me."

" This is a kind of closeness to your Master" said Obi-Wan. " You are forming your bond with your master and during this process you develop this awkward feelings, you never felt before but some years later or maybe only some months, you will discover that these kind of feelings are the most powerful and fulfilling ones you ever want to feel..."

The young boy had his focus ion the table but when he was raising his head, he met the gazes of Qui-Gon and Bant, who looked totally confused. Qui-Gon looked kind of surprised because he never heard these words from Obi-Wan and he never expected them to be spoken by him. Bant looked very confused because she knew his feelings but never thought that he would speak about it.

Obi-Wan, on the other hand, looked vulnerable. He felt strange although he talked about beatiful ways of feelings. The feelings from a Padawan for his Master and from a Master for his Padawan.

This was an amazing way of the force. No Master know his destiny with his padawan before. It was the aim of them to develop how strong their bond is able to be. Qui-Gon and his Master Dooku never had a strong bond and he wasn't angry about that. He never liked his Master that much, he only liked it to be his student because Master Dooku was one of the best teachers and young Qui-Gon was flattered that he had chosen him as his student. Now they had no contact anymore.

His bond with Obi-Wan was different. It was much stronger and more powerful than his bond to his former student Xanatos and he enjoyed it very much. Obi-Wan was like a son for him and he cared for that boy like a father.

" Tahl is a good Master, Bant" interrupted Obi-Wan his thoughts. " You're bond will be very strong. I feel it!"

Without a word, Bant moved forward and took his friend in a tight embrace. Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on her shoulder. Qui-Gon still stood on the other side of the room and watched his student. Obi-Wans gaze met his own and they shared their feelings over the bond. Qui-Gon smiled. This boy made him very happy.

" Enough love for now" said Bant. " You need something to eat."

" I hope you'll eat something too" replied Obi-Wan and stared at his plate with the soup. " I hate it to eat in front of people, who don't eat something. That's kind of embarrassing."

Qui-Gon laughed. " Don't worry. We're both very hungry!"

" Glad to hear that!"

They enjoyed their meal and talked about everything that came in their minds. Qui-Gon realized that Obi-Wan was still very tired but he looked much stronger than before. It was still the fever that made him exhaust. Bant seemed very excited because of her Master but she tried to stay calm because she knew that she needed to stay here overnight before she could return to her own quarters.

" Master, I have a question" said Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon stopped eating to listen to him. " Why is there a sleeping couch in my room?"

" Because of me" answered Bant instead of him. " Because Master Tahl sleeps in the med-center tonight, she asked Qui-Gon if I could stay here for the night."

" I'll sleep in your room if you agree with that" said Qui-Gon softly. He knew that he would feel it if Obi-Wan had a problem with that but he seemed very facilitated that he was not alone this night. He only nodded because he wasn't sure how his voice would work.

He would never tell his Master but sometimes he felt very weak. Like now, when he was happy to stay not alone over night but he was sixteen and not five years old. Sometimes he knew that Qui-Gon sensed his worries but he never talked about it. Obi-Wan was grateful for that.

Bant moaned. " I'm a little bit tired. Are you ok with that when I'm going to bed?"

Qui-Gon shook his head. " I'll clean the room alone." He looked at Obi-Wan. " You go to bed and Bant, you know where my room is. Good night!"

" Good night, Master Jinn. Good night, Obi-Wan!"

" Good night, Bant" said Obi-Wan and stood up. " Are you sure that I you don't need my help?"

" I'm very sure, Obi-Wan" replied Qui-Gon. " Go to bed. I'll come in some minutes."

Obi-Wan nodded and walked over to his room. He layed down in his bed and wrapped the blanket around himself. He knew that his Master would talk to him when he was still awake when Qui-Gon would enter the room but he didn't want to talk about something right now. He turned on his side and faced the wall. He was filled with guilt and he couldn't release this feeling. Qui-Gon would worry about it when he would feel it and so Obi-Wan raised his shields over day to avoid that his Master would sense something. But over night, he couldn't control his feelings and he was afraid that Qui-Gon would feel something while he was dreaming.

The reason, why he felt guilty, was Tahl. He knew that it was his fault that she was almost dead and only his fault. If he would have not hurt his leg they would have been faster to rescue her but only because of him, Qui-Gon was forced to stay a day longer in the settlement. His Master left him the next day, when Obi-Wan assured him that he was fine, despite that he felt the illness overcoming him but he was too late.

Fortunately, Tahl was still alive but Obi-Wan don't wanted to face her. He never could see in her eyes or talk to her without feeling bad. He was the reason for Qui-Gons worries over days and for Tahls fight for life. He stopped his thoughts when he heard the door opens. He tried to breath calmly and closed his eyes to prrtend that he would sleep. He sensed his Master behind him and felt a hand, which raised his blanket under his chin. The same hand stroked over his cheek softly and then left him. Obi-Wan felt safe now but he hated it to fool his Master. He heard the sound of the moving sleeping couch, when Qui-Gon layed down to sleep. He waited until Qui-Gons breathe turned calmly and he was sure that his Master was asleep. He turned on his back and watched the ceiling. He needed to sleep to regain his energy again. So he tried to push his thoughts aside and to calm down.

Qui-Gon slept peaceful when he fel a disturbance in the force. He opened his eyes quickly and looked after Obi-Wan. The young boy slept peacefully but Qui-Gon knew it better. He saw the eyes moving through the eyelid, which was often a sign for his bad dreams. He sat down next to his student, reached for his shoulders and caressed them with his thumb.

" Obi-Wan, what are you hiding from me?" he asked silently.

Obi-Wans mouth opened and he heard some mumbling. "...my fault...sorry...dead...burden…."

These were the only words, Qui-Gon could clearly understand.

" What burden?" asked Qui-Gon but he knew that Obi-Wan wouldn't answer. These were some private thoughts from the back of Obi-Wans mind and Qui-Gon was fully aware that this had something to do with what Obi-Wan was hiding from him. He needed to talk to Bant. Maybe she knew something.

For tonight, he could only calm his student. He stroked his arms and forehead and waited until Obi-Wan was sleeping peacefully again.


	6. Chapter 6

A knock at the door woke him up immediately. Qui-Gon sat up on the sleeping couch, completely overwhelmed. He realized with a look on the clock that it was a way to early to stand up.

Obi-Wan was still asleep after his concerning nightmares this night. The knock wasn't noisy enough to wake him up. And Qui-Gon was grateful for the fact that his student was able to sleep in the most unusual situations and at every time on every place. Swiftly, Qui-Gon stood up and layed a hand on his forehead. The fever was gone! Qui-Gon took a deep breath and tried to avoid a tear falling from his eyes. He was so glad that Obi-Wan now was out of danger. As the healer said, he was out of danger some days before but Qui-Gon knew exactly, how Obi-Wan could react on fever. When he was ill one year before, they said that it was not dangerous and he would only need two days in bed. The fever wasn't high but after the two days Obi-Wan felt incredibly sick and from that day, Qui-Gon knew that he need to pay attention at his student, when he was feverish.

A second soft knock at the door brought him back in reality. Quickly, to not disturb Obi-Wan, he ran to the door and opened it. Bant stood there and seemed totally nervous. Qui-Gon left the room and closed the door behind him.

" What happened?", he asked.

" The healers called me" said Bant impatiently. " They said that Tahl got a high fever over night and that her condition is critical. I can't visit her because the danger is to high but I'm completely scared. Yesterday, she looked so healthy and now..."

Qui-Gon rested his hands on her shoulders. " Listen to me, Bant." He waited until she turned her full attention to him, then he continued speaking. " Tahl is a very strong person and she will make it through the fever. With or without our help. She knows that she isn't alone and I assure you that she will fight for us."

Bant nodded slowly. " I know but I can't stop worrying."

" Don't bother yourself. It's not your fault!"

Now Bant lifted her head and met his gaze. " Please, don't tell Obi-Wan anything about what I told you. He is still thinking too much about what happened..." That was the moment when she realized that she had said to much. " I need to go now!"

" Bant, wait!" called Qui-Gon and Bant stopped walking. She wasn't allowed to contradict a Jedi-Master or to deny his instructions. Qui-Gon knew that but he hated to use this kind of status against one of the students, especially with Bant and Obi-Wan.

" Bant, please, I need your help", he murmured. " Obi-Wan is speaking in his dreams about something, I can't understand and I feel something that worries him over the days, although he is trying to hide it from me. I know that he would tell you everything and I respect his privacy and your private conversation but if that conversation is the reason for his bad dreams, I need to know."

Bant turned around but she focused the floor. " Obi-Wan asked me not to tell anybody!"

" But I'm not a stranger. I'm his Master and I need to know everything of his suffering thoughts or I can't help him. And I'm the only one, who could help him."

" He will be angry..."

" We're talking about Obi-Wan" continued Qui-Gon. " He is the most kind student in the Jedi-Temple. He is never mad at someone, especially you. I promise that he will not be angry at you."

Bant took a breath and closed her eyes for a moment. Qui-Gon recognized that she regretted her behavior and that she was reckless enough to tell Qui-Gon from his problems but now she had no opportunity.

" Yesterday, when you were with Tahl and I went back to Obi-Wan, he was awake and waited for me. He asked if he could tell me something and I said that it would be ok. Of course it was, I'm his friend. He told me from your mission on New Apsolon and what happened during the mission. He said that he felt guilty because he was the reason why Tahl is still in the med-center. He said that it was all his fault and that he would never be able to see her in her eyes or even talk to you about her..."

" That was the reason because he quickly tried to sleep yesterday evening" murmured Qui-Gon more to himself than to Bant but he apologized and waited for her to continue.

" I told him that it wasn't his fault but he was stubborn and convinced that you was also mad at him during the mission when he hurt his leg. Is that true?"

Her question sounded that innocent that he wasn't able to answer for some seconds. He needed to think about that. Was he angry at that moment? He knew that he wasn't happy about that but was also concerned about Obi-Wan and his condition. He couldn't remember a situation where he could have given him the feeling to be a burden.

" I'm honest, I can't remember a situation where I should have been angry at him."

" You know Obi-Wan" replied Bant. " Even a little sign leads to the fact that he regrets his own behavior, whether it was wrong or not."

" You're right Bant" said Qui-Gon thoughtfully. " Obi-Wan shouldn't suffer himself for what happened to Tahl. I need to talk to him, when he wakes up. I thank you so much!"

Bant gave him a soft smile and left the room without a word.

Qui-Gon turned around an entered Obi-Wans room again. His Padawan was fully awake and watched his datapad. When Qui-Gon opened the door, he looked surprised.

"Master!" He sat up. " I thought you left for a talk with the Council or maybe Mace Windu!"

" What made you thinking that?" asked Qui-Gon.

" You left abruptly."

" So you were awake when I left the room. You pretend to be asleep but were awake?"

Obi-Wan didn't know what to say. Qui-Gon went to him and sat down on the bed.

" I talked with Bant about Tahl", he began, not sure if it was right to tell him. " She is in a bad condition because she got a fever last night and the healers are worried if her new organs would make it."

During his explanation, Obi-Wans gaze turned worried and Qui-Gon knew that he pushed the right button to activate Obi-Wans feelings. Now he couldn't hide it from him.

" And Bant also told me about your feelings..." Obi-Wan bowed his head and watched the blanket when his fingers played with it.

" And I came to the conclusion that I need to apologize" continued Qui-Gon and met the confused look on Obi-Wans face.

" Apologize?" asked the boy shyly. " For what?"

" That I gave you the feeling that it was all your fault! Nothing of that was your fault, Obi-Wan." He saw that Obi-Wan wanted to avoid this conversation and that he searched for a reason to left the room. Qui-Gon swiftly grabbed his hands and forced him to look at him. " Obi-Wan, we need to talk about it. I don't want you to feel guilty for what happened. It was not your fault and it wasn't my fault. You were right that we weren't quickly enough to rescue her but we also weren't allowed to be on this planet. If would would have followed the instructions of the council, we would have stayed at the temple and waited that she would come back. But I wasn't interested in what the Council said and you were loyal enough to follow me. We weren't supposed to find her and maybe to safe her. It was luck that we went there to help her. If we would have been there, she would be dead now. She knew that and I knew that. She is alive and she is strong enough to fight for her life a second time. She is aware that you helped me to rescue her and she is thankful for that!"

" She is thankful that you saved her" interrupted Obi-Wan. " I noticed her feelings for you and I know that she is only fighting for you!"

Qui-Gon closed his eyes for a moment. " Our feelings for each other are another topic for another conversation but I assure you that I don't leave you behind or that it will change something on our current lives. Do you understand?"

Obi-Wan nodded but he couldn't answer.

" Good" continued Qui-Gon. " Tahl loves you as much as she loves me and she will be happy when she 'll see you again."

" How is she?" asked the boy.

" I want to ask the healer himself after the breakfast but I think she will need a day or two to recover from the fever. And when she is strong enough again, I'll take you to the med- center, so you can see her and talk to her, all right?"

Obi-Wan nodded. Qui-Gon gave him the feeling that everything would be ok but he wasn't completely convinced.

Qui-Gon seemed to feel that. " Don't think about it Obi-Wan. Everything is fine!"

He opened his arms and wrapped them around Obi-Wans small body. The boy closed his eyes and enjoyed this peaceful moment alone with his Master.


	7. Chapter 7

The next two days passed very fast and Obi-Wan tried to be busy all time, so that he didn't need to think about Tahl. Qui-Gon visited her every day and only two times. According to his report, she must feel much better now and the fever is gone. But Obi-Wan was not brave enough to visit her too because he was still afraid that she would be angry at him. His Master assured him more than ten times a day that she wouldn't be angry but Obi-Wan couldn't believe him.

Qui-Gon knew that this would happen. When Obi-Wan was convinced that he did something wrong, he expected that everyone would think that too and it was hard for Qui-Gon too tell him the opposite. Obi-Wan trusted him with his life but his ambition not to fail Qui-Gon was strong enough to make the boy believe that Qui-Gon was angry after every little thing he did wrong. No Master noticed this behavior before he accepted him as his apprentice and then Qui-Gon needed some years to discover this kind of behavior. He recognized it but he didn't knew a way how he could avoid such a feeling. No matter what task he gave the boy, Obi-Wan was ambitious enough to make it all right. And Qui-Gon tried to teach him patience over the years. He must admit that Obi-Wan did better after all the years and he accepted his opinion and when he did something wrong. He accepted it and avoided this mistake by the next opportunity.

But Qui-Gon knew that he needed time to handle his thoughts. These two days weren't enough for his student to accept what happened and that it wasn't his fault. They had a conversation about it and he realized that Obi-Wan changed after it. He was more confident and he seemed to believe his Master and that he wasn't angry at him but Tahl had no opportunity to tell him that she wasn't angry too.

The tall Jedi-Master visited her every day but only at the evening and the early night. He spent the morning with his student or with his task, he got from the Council. Often, they gave him a datapad with information he needed to study for his future missions. Information about planets and the life forms on it. Then he could decide, which planet he wanted to choose for the next mission. When he did that task, he usually sat down on the couch in the shared living room, a datapad in one hand and a tea in the other hand. In the back of his mind he created a plan for future years including training missions and other tasks to improve his students abilities.

Most of the time, Obi-Wan sat with him in the living room, on the ground on the little table in front of the couch and did his homework for saber class or other lessons. It was interesting to watch that he worked for class from the early morning to the evening. Only for lunch or dinner he paused and joined his Master but then he wasn't very communicative and only responded when Qui-Gon asked him a specific question. After meal, he continued working and stopped it when Qui-Gon sent him to bed. Most of the time, he felt asleep on the ground or with his head on the couch and when Qui-Gon realized it, he woke him up and led him to his room. He knew that his student did this to avoid a conversation with Tahl but today he would take him to her.

Tahl was in her room again but was still laying in her bed and rest. Bant took care for her and he could see how their relationship grew from minute to minute.

" How is Obi-Wan?" asked Tahl, when Qui-Gon entered her room and brought her some tea. Bant was with Obi-Wan and he helped her with some lesson instructions.

" He is fine..." started Qui-Gon but hesitated when he thought about the last days.

" Something is bothering you, Qui-Gon" said Tahl and layed her hand on his. " What is it?"

" He is restless. He is working every day and he can't sleep over night. He hates it when I come to him over night so I try to ignore it but it breaks my heart to see him suffer."

" Is it still the same problem?" asked Tahl and raised one eyebrow.

Qui-Gon nodded and grabbed her hand with his and stroked it with his thumb.

" Why don't you bring him here?"

" He don't want to" responded Qui-Gon and met her gaze.

" That doesn't matter but when his feelings distract him that much, I want to solve that problem because I'm the source of the problem."

" You're not the source of it" interrupted Qui-Gon her monologue. " The problem are his thoughts. I can take him to you but he need to fight his thoughts by his own."

" He is still a boy, Qui-Gon" murmured Tahl softly. " Sometimes children don't know how to behave. Bring him here. I will wait!"

She gave him a soft kiss on his cheek and Qui-Gon left the room to get Obi-Wan and Bant.

Both were sitting on the ground in the living room and all he could hear was their laughing.

" No, Obi-Wan, that was wrong" laughed Bant and Obi-Wan threw the datapad away.

" That's unnecessary", he said and layed flat on the floor.

" It is important for the lesson tomorrow", Bant continued laughing and reached for the datapad, when Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around her to prevent her from doing this. " No, Obi-Wan!" Both started laughing loudly and didn't realize the Jedi-Master in front of them. Qui-Gon smiled on the scene on the floor because he was pleased to see his student that happy without bad thoughts. But they had not much time and so he made a soft noise, so that they realized him. Both startled and looked confused into his eyes and waited for him to say something.

Qui-Gon laughed softly. " Tahl asked me to take you to her. Both!" he said with a strict undertone, when he grabbed Bants hand and lifted her from the ground,

" I'm so sorry, Master Qui-Gon, that we weren't working, when you came in" said Bant but Qui-Gon raised his hand to stop her.

" Don't worry, Bant", he responded, when he grabbed Obi-Wan under his arms and helped him up. " I remember the time, when Tahl and I were behaving the same way!"

Bant smiled and got her back to leave the room for her Master. Obi-Wan said no word, when he followed her out of the room and Qui-Gon rested a hand on his shoulder to send him comforting and reassuring waves through the force.

He knew what his padawan was thinking and he wanted to help him with his emotions.

Before he entered the quartier, Obi-Wan stopped and watched Bant, when she joined Tahl in her bedroom.

" You don't have to be afraid" whispered Qui-Gon. " I'll be with you if you want!"

Obi-Wan nodded but didn't turned his gaze to face his Master. Qui-Gon understood and pushed his student softly into the room.

" Bant, would you be so kind and leave us alone. I need to talk to Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon alone" asked Tahl and smiled at her student.

Bant looked confused, maybe she expected that they don't wanted her around them. But Obi-Wan hugged her and whispered something in her ear that made her smile and she left the room with the old sparkle in her eyes.

" What have you said to her?" asked Tahl. " I never understood what I should say when I hurt her with my words."

" Maybe I'll tell you another day" smiled Obi-Wan but his gaze turned serious again.

" Obi-Wan, sit down, please" asked Tahl and sat up in her bed. Slowly, Obi-Wan moved forward and sat down on the other side of the bed. His Master was still behind him and waited for them to talk.

Tahl looked at Qui-Gon and then to Obi-Wan.

" Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon told me that you are afraid that I'm angry at you and my aim is it to talk with you about it because I see that Qui-Gon don't know what to do and I totally don't want you to avoid me."

" It was not my intention to avoid you" started Obi-Wan. " But it's right that I'm afraid because…it looks like...that...it's my fault that you were in the med-center..."

" And why should it be your fault?" asked Tahl softly to prevent Obi-Wan from feeling stressed.

" Because of the accident", the boy continued.

" The accident wasn't your fault, Obi-Wan" interrupted Qui-Gon his statement.

" But if I had been more careful it would never have happened..."

" It happened and we can't change the past" said Tahl. " You couldn't feel it and you're not a experienced Jedi to sense every danger in your surrounding." Tahl gave Qui-Gon a sharp look. " You were injured too and now were both here. Happy and healthy. Don't worry about it, my dear. Qui-Gon did everything to rescue us."

Qui-Gon smiled and layed an arm around Obi-Wans shoulder.

" You looked so angry when Tahl was in the med-center" murmured Obi-Wan to Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon didn't answer but look at Tahl.

" It was not my intention to give you that feeling, I said that before" said Qui-Gon. " But there is a reason for my behavior and Tahl and I talked about it. We don't want to hide this secret from you because you are very important for me and I'm sure that you will understand it."

Obi-Wan nodded and looked in his Masters eyes. What would his Master hide from him over days?


	8. Chapter 8

This is the last chapter now and I hope you liked my short story about Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Tahl and Bant. I tried something out with the perspectives when I changed from Obi-Wans and Qui-Gons perspective during a scene and I never did it before. I hope it is not that confusing :D I asked one of my Friends from english studies to look over the story and she was happy with it.

I would be glad if you would tell me your opinion of that story or about that topic in general :)

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Obi-Wan stared at the ceiling and let his tears streaming down his cheeks. Now, he layed there for already two hours without any motion. His hands rested on his stomach, so he could feel the up and down of his breathing motions. He tried to sleep but very soon he realized that he couldn't. Too many thoughts went through his mind and destroyed the good feeling after his meditation. He needed this meditation to calm down a little bit. It helped not that much but the pressure in his chest disappeared so he could breath more easily. He started to cry one hour before. He didn't mind if he was a Jedi or not, he couldn't stop his tears from falling down and the soft whimper that came from his mouth.

It was totally silent in his room when he listened the traffic outside of his window. He also didn't know where his Master was. Maybe with Tahl. Of course! Why should he stay with him when he could be with Tahl. He closed his eyes and tried to calm his mind. He knew that he acted unfair and that he should be happy about what Qui-Gon and Tahl had told him hours before.

He could remember it like when it happened only minutes before.

Qui-Gon had layed his arm around Obi-Wans shoulder and asked him about the events on Melida/Daan. Tahl had grabbed his hands and told him about her mission on New Apsolon and Qui-Gons intention to follow her. Obi-Wan remembered that there were always a soft movement in the smallest corner of his mind and he knew that he was already aware of what Qui-Gon and Tahl would tell him. But when they said it, he couldn't answer. He felt betrayed because they haven't said any word to him. Especially Qui-Gon. He was angry at his Master because he went to New Apsolon without any explanation and Obi-Wan followed him. Qui-Gon was blind of feelings and didn't knew what he did, said his Master himself. That was the reason why he left Obi-Wan in the settlement with fever. Qui-Gon had apologized for his behavior but Obi-Wan still wasn't able to say a word. He could feel the burning in his eyes and the blurred view. He had felt his Master hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down but he didn't wanted to feel it. The last thing he had heard was his Masters voice that called for him but he had left the room without any word.

He knew that it was wrong but he couldn't go back. He didn't wanted to face them after his impulsive reaction. He turned on his side and hide his face in his pillow when new tears came down his cheek. He suppressed sobs when he sensed a familiar presence in their rooms. He closed his eyes and tried to calm his breathing when he heard a soft knock at his door. When he didn't react, he heard the door open and let his eyes closed.

Qui-Gon went to him and Obi-Wan could feel the sinking of the mattress. He knew that Qui-Gon knew that he was fully awake but he was grateful at his Master that he let him pretend to be asleep to avoid a conversation.

Qui-Gon always knew when Obi-Wan needed time to think about what happened and he wanted to give him that time. Nevertheless, it had hurt him when Obi-Wan had left the room abruptly. Now, he didn't knew how to interact with the boy and what was going on in his mind. His shields were shut so he couldn't sense it through there bond, so the only thing he could do, was to be patient and wait for his student to talk to him by himself. He lifted his hand and reached for Obi-Wans cheek and stroked it softly. When Obi-Wan didn't moved he continued this procedure to show him that he was still with him. He didn't knew if he only imagined it but it felt like Obi-Wan would press his face into this touch and that he would enjoy it.

A good sign for Qui-Gon! He grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around his student, stroked his forehead for a last time and left the room. Maybe Obi-Wan now could sleep better when he was aware that Qui-Gon wasn't angry at him without consideration of his behavior in Tahls room.

When his door closed, Obi-Wan opened his eyes again and focused on the door. The soft touch of Qui-Gons hand gave him the feeling that everything would be alright when he would be able to talk to him. His heart beat faster and he was nervous. Not the best condition to sleep, so he decided to look after his Master. His behavior encouraged him to talk to him about his feelings for Tahl. He opened the door and went into the living room. He thought that his Master was already in his room and went to sleep but the soft light on the couch showed him the opposite. The tall Jedi-Master sat on the couch and read a datapad. Maybe he haven't sensed his student or he was so patient that he waited for Obi-Wan to start the conversation. Hesitantly, the Padawan moved to the couch and stopped behind his Master, unsure what he should do now.

" Master?" he whispered carefully.

His Master layed the datapad aside, his motions were very slowly, and turned around to Obi-Wan. His face was emotionless and he watched his student mindful. He seemed to wait for something.

" I...I'm so sorry for my behavior, Master", he stammered and focused the ground. " It will not happen anymore!"

" Obi-Wan, look at me!" He felt a soft hand, which raised his chin and his eyes met those of his Master.

There was no anger and no disappointment. Only trust and understanding.

" Please sit down" asked Qui-Gon and dragged his student onto the couch. Obi-Wan looked overwhelmed.

" I'm not angry at you, my Padawan but I was worried after you rushed out of the room without a word" continued Qui-Gon and looked at Obi-Wan.

" I was...overwhelmed" admitted Obi-Wan. " Totally overwhelmed. I mean, I knew it in a corner of my mind but I didn't want to believe it. You and Tahl. Together." He shook his head.

" I'm so sorry that I haven't told you before" said Qui-Gon. " It was not the right time but we hope that you will accept it!"

When Obi-Wan opened his mouth to say something, Qui-Gon interrupted him. " Nothing will change, I promise. I will not leave the Jedi and Tahl will neither. We love each other and maybe we will spent some time with each other but not enough that you're training will suffer from it. You won't get less attention than Tahl will and we'll try to hide it from the Council."

" What is with Bant?" asked Obi-Wan.

" Tahl is with her now and I think, she tells her" said Qui-Gon.

Obi-Wan seemed thoughtful and Qui-Gon waited for him to continue.

" But..." started the boy but hesitated.

" Please continue!"

" Imagine...I hope that this will never happen but what if Tahl gets killed during a mission or badly injured...You can't leave the planet or a mission to safe her. You can't..." Obi-Wan took a deep breath. " You can't kill yourself or turn to the dark side...I mean...you can or maybe you are able to do this but..."

Qui-Gon rested his hand on Obi-Wans shoulder. " I won't! I will never let you behind!"

Obi-Wan nodded satisfied and believed that he could accept it.

Qui-Gon wrapped his arms around the small body and closed his eyes. He was happy that everything was over now. The next challenge would be to hide his relationship from the Council but this wasn't that important than the fact that his Padawan and Tahl were healthy and safe now.

The door opened and Qui-Gon smiled when Tahl entered the room, slowly and carefully. Bant followed her and jumped into Obi-Wans arms and laughed happily. A reassuring atmosphere that gave him the hope that everything would be good in the future. Now he could enjoy it with the persons he loved.


End file.
